So lately I have been struggling with my religious path (liberal Catholicism). I guess you could say that I havent felt the same religious "high" that I had while at UE. Maybe it's the fact that the church I used to go to has undergone many changes since the Paulist Fathers left, or mybe it's because I didn't have a regular group to attend any more, or maybe I just no longer fit in as well, the same way I don't quite fit in to Boulder any longer. Who really knows? No matter the reasons why, I'm struggling a bit with my faith.
I guess one analogy that could work to describe my situation in a completely unsatisfactory manner, is riding a bike up a rather rocky hill. Only it's a hill that you can't see the top of and therefore you feel as though you're getting nowhere.
This very bad analogy came to me while I was walking the half-hour hill from my dog-sitting job back home this morning. Along this uphill walk of mine, I pass by a Methodist church along Gillaspe. Along with various signs advertising a Korean service (in Korean, of course), was the English sign with a little saying on it:
I almost cried! Of course, it didn't exactly help my mind from trying to battle out the struggle, but it did help me to take a step back and stop worrying about it so much. It also made me think of a tandem bicycle, which I have to give msot of the credit to Father Kevin for that one!
So I guess I'm going to try and let loose a little more and trust that I'll end up where I'm supposed to be. (And boy do I sound like a Boulderite).
4 comments:
Katie, Sometimes God allows us to struggle for our own growth. You need to read Mother Theresa's book, "Come be my light". We don't always "feel" God's presence. That is when we rely on faith, our knowledge that God is indeed present. It is during the dark times that we are stretched. When you don't feel like you belong to the world (Boulder) it may be because you are being taught a truth about God. All of God's close friends were persecuted by the world. Jesus was crucified. Katie, rest in your knowledge of God and let Him fill you with love especially when you don't feel it from those you care about. Your sister in Christ, Judy
You know, I feel exactly what you are. I have been meditating (we'll call it that, but it is more like praying/reading) about God and Religion.
I've come up with this: Religion (whatever you prescribe to, catholocism, judiasm, islam, protestantism, etc) doesn't solve anything in my mind.
Yet I stumbled across this verse when I was flipping through Psalms:
My soul finds rest in God alone: My salvation comes from Him. - Psalms 62:1
And, it sums it up. Kinda like your sign from the methodist church.
It got me thinking that although religion has its quarks and differences, God doesn't. He does have it all under control, and His will is done with our lives, provided we let him.
So, yeah, you will end up where you're supposed to be. Just trust in God.
Have a great summer!
My parents left the RC church when I was about 7. Why? Well because why be in a church when you weren't going to follow any of it's rules?
Their solution was the Episcopal church (which is a catholic church)... Episcopalian... Catholicism Lite. All the ritual, none of the rules.
hey -
I just decided to look at your blog on a whim, and I'm glad I did. We all have our struggles and doubts in faith no matter how many "highs" we have. I can think of specific moments where I questioned everything. It is harder when there's not a community surrounding you, but that's where we get the strongest because we have to learn to rely on God alone.
Know that you're not alone in your struggle - especially as a college student! I'll see you soon!
Allyson
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